Dec 15, 2009

BREAKING NEWS: BLOGGER CHASTISED FOR ABANDONING HIS BABY

RPGBN News
Fairfield, CA

What started out as a hair-brained idea, slightly less futile than dealing with the dregs of the RPG messageboards, has since become The Fine art of the TPK, a blog where it's owner, Donny the DM talk about whatever in the hell he feels like talking about - within the context of role playing games.

Lately though, dark clouds have been spotted on the borders of this quaint corner of the internet.  It seems, that this lands lord and defender, Donny the DM has been missing!  One terrified villager sums it up, "He made the sun rise and set, he did - we're almost out of bloody candles!"  Another added, "You'd think with all those highfalutin insights he'd have a second or two for us."  Another put it even better, "We have a Lord?  When did that happen?  I didn't vote for him."

This is of course in reference to the alleged abandonment of his blog.  We at RPGBN news were able to track him to his home in Fairfield, CA and paid a visit to this would-be cad.  Upon knocking on the door to his no doubt "charming" fixer-upper in progress, one cant help but notice he seems to have abandoned more than just a blog. 

The door is finally answered by his house troll.  Imagine my surprise when the house troll turns out to be the man himself!  He seemed surprised that I was here (no doubt owing to the alcoholic fog oozing from his pores) and at first tried to downplay his involvement in any alleged non-blogging.  Finally, after bursting into tears and blubbering for a very uncomfortable 15 minutes, we were able to secure an invitation into his home to meet the legendary Donny the DM.

Turns out Donny is actually short for Donovan.  Who'd have thought?  Happily married 6 years, two young children, a big (if desperately in need of work) house, he seems like the kinda guy that has made it - until we dig a little deeper.  Seems that Donovan has been laid off from his Government position, and has a last day coming up in two weeks...well, isn't that cheery.

We Interviewed him for hours, learning all about his current games (2), his regular players (6) and getting to see him make dinosaur noises with a tragically underused Fiendish Tyrannosaurus Rex that he bought years ago because, "I've always loved swallowing players whole."  We talked about the difficulties of having a regular game.  We talked about some of his favorite recipes for group grub.  We even talked about his young daughter, who has just (two games ago) joined both games.  After all of this wonderful reminiscing, we felt it was time to strike at the heart of the matter.

We asked him why he hasnt posted a blog entry in over a month.  First it was denial.  He insisted that there was no way it had been a month.  Then it was anger.  He ranted about people and their expectations.  The it was acceptance.  He spoke of his ideas and plans that had gone nowhere.  In the end, we were able to agree that his blog was a good one, and needed to continue on.  "Besides, it's not like I'll be short on time in the new year."  he said with a hint of the old fire.

In the end, we left this giant of a man better than we left him.  By reminding him of his passion, and showing him that people still come to his blog every day seeking wisdom and/or something to laugh at.  In fact, he asked only one thing of us, that we deliver a message to his readers.

PRODUCTION WILL RESUME SHORTLY

Brings a tear to this old newsman's eye, it does.  This has been an RPGBN news special report.