Apr 10, 2009

We've all heard of furries...but SCALIES!?


It's Friday, and to help us all get past Wizardly asshattery, and Dead gaming icons, I would like to point out an overlooked modern fantasy novel series that my wife finally got me to read.

Here you will find the author's website with writeups of his first 4 novels. I found these to be quite entertaining. To summarize with extreme prejudice:

A Dragon, who can shapeshift flawlessly between human and dragon forms lives the perfect life of a billionare playboy on a family owned island off of the coast of Florida. He's lonely though, and hasn't seen or heard from another of his kind in decades, since his father died. Mom was killed by AA fire from a submarine during WWII. One night while eating late night pleasure boaters, he scents a female in heat...And head off to Jamaica for DRAGON SEX!!!

This intense and painstakingly described DRAGON SEX was (to say the least) not what I was expecting, that's for sure. In fact, what surprised me was that my wife though it was pretty hot. Did I marry a closet scaly? Being the good husband I am, my leather scaled suit arrives next week, though I still have reservations about the tail...stingers yes, but this? What's next? Vibrating claws?

Let me say that again DRAGON SEX!!!
(that just feels good to say!) WTF!? I have gamed forever now, and never have I even considered a dragon in...well...you know. After all, all of that odd begetting happens off-stage. I mean, wow. I couldn't imagine trying tp RP a dragon who wants more than anything to add a half-orc barbarianess to it's tally sheet. This is too much like the Book of Erotic Fantasy for my taste. Any of you have the ahem, "pleasure" of owning that tome? Got it for the articles, didn't you :)

This brings us to another, similar topic. Does anybody actually go that far? I remember reading a blog by Dungeon Grrrl for awhile, where sex was a regular part of the game, but just thinking about it is making me uncomfortable...I mean theoretically...Consenting adults and all...wow...How DO you reward XP for that? Calculate armor classes? Grapple checks?

If Modern day dragons and their mating practices (delivered in detail only Laurell K. Hamilton could touch) is your thing, these are highly reccommended. If nothing else, the D20 modern inspiration is well worth the cost of 15 dollars worth of paperbacks.


DRAGON SEX!!!!!

Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system :)





8 comments:

Tony Law said...

I've never understood why people write about dragon sex. Now, dolphin sex I can understand. At least it has a porpoise.

Donny said...

That was awful...:)

Don't suppose you like fish sticks do you? ;)

Thasmodious said...

Well done, Tony, well done.

MacGuffin said...

there are no words...


@tony- terrible, just terrible. :D

Jonathan said...

I nearly fell out of my ffraking chari laughing my arsss aooofff...

omg.. ok; .. all i saw was DRAGON SEX in huge letters ... i can't laughing right now.. sdf

Jonathan said...

and.. what's kinda disturbing is that.. here you are saying DRAGON SEX, and then link the authors site.. and there's a picture of a baby in a barny outfit... bad combo; no fries please.

Viriatha said...

Scalies are a subset of furries and used to be very active on the usenet group alt.fan.dragons

I won't tell you how I know all that, though :P

trollsmyth said...

I have gamed forever now, and never have I even considered a dragon in...well...you know. After all, all of that odd begetting happens off-stage. I mean, wow. I couldn't imagine trying tp RP a dragon who wants more than anything to add a half-orc barbarianess to it's tally sheet.I find your lack of imagination disturbing. ;)

This is too much like the Book of Erotic Fantasy for my taste. Any of you have the ahem, "pleasure" of owning that tome? Got it for the articles, didn't you :)As much as I appreciate the efforts of the photographers, make-up artists, and photoshoppers involved, I really have to say that I find it extremely doubtful that anybody bought it for the art. :p

And if the idea of dragon sex makes you go, "Wha?!?" then I'd not recommend the BoEF. It has a very particular target audience, and I think it's safe to say that neither of us fall into it.